Look and Act Like An Adult In Court
Ladies, I shouldn't have to lecture you like your mother about how to dress, but either you were not listening when your mother told you this stuff, or she gave up and let you look like a common night walker if you insisted on going out looking that way. Men, if you look like a man who lives in a refrigerator box or just came from a party the night before, the judge will think very badly of you.
We all draw conclusions about people based on the way they look and talk, and judges are no different. So, if your clothes say "responsible, upstanding man" or "good mommy", before you say a word, the judge starts out with a good impression. If you don't care about giving the judge a good impression, ignore what I am about to say.
There is a certain way that people in authority expect people to dress who are responsible, top shelf and successful. Consider this: The judge is successful and a respected member of the community, so if someone dresses like the judge, then that person is seen as in the judge's own class, and "gets it".
So, for goodness sake, do that! You need every advantage you can get.
The judge doesn't wear a belly button ring or have a tramp stamp on her upper back or ankle. So cover it up if you have one. The judge doesn't wear eyebrow rings or jeans or sneakers in court. So, you shouldn't either. The judge doesn't have a Bon Jovi Tour T-shirt, or a "Yankees Suck" hat, so you shouldn't wear them in court either. The judge doesn't have a "Jesus Saves" tattoo on his arm, or a Metallica one on her neck, a so wear a long sleeve shirt with a collar if you do.
For men, wear a good pair of slacks, preferably dark gray or blue, of good quality cloth and neatly pressed. Thankfully, even if you don't have a lot of money, Wal-Mart, Target, Marshalls, or J.C Penney will come to your rescue. Wear a buttoned white or pale blue oxford or other dress shirt, neatly pressed. Wear a tasteful tie, preferably with a maroon background and a small pattern of dots or lines, nothing garish. If you have a suit or sport coat, so much the better. Wear polished leather shoes, not sneakers.
As to what NOT to wear, no T-shirts, especially wife beaters/muscle shirts. No jeans, no sneakers, no pull over shirts, no loud colors. Oh, and lose the metal anywhere you have it stuck into you. Ask yourself, would I wear this to an important meeting with the president of the United States.
For women, you should dress like you are going to a meeting of the Frumpy-Old-Ladies-Who-Do-Lunch-And-Gardening-Club, and who wear dowdy hats with fruit on them. In other words, dress like a judge would. Do not dress like you are going out on a date with Justin Timberlake or Jason McStudly.
A dress or business suit is best, or a long skirt and nice blouse. Nylons and nice shoes should be worn, too. Make your hair look like you are a librarian. You can use tasteful makeup and jewelry to enhance your beauty. Remember, you want to impress the judge with your responsibility and wisdom as a mother.
As to what NOT to wear: Anything informal or that makes you look like a cheap date. Avoid short skirts, any metal beyond small earrings, sneakers, tight clothes, jeans, tops that show cleavage, and anything garish. Look like little Miss Muffett, not Ke$sha or Lady Gaga.
There you have it. Dress like the judge, or his or her wife or husband, and you will find more favor in the judge's eyes.
We all draw conclusions about people based on the way they look and talk, and judges are no different. So, if your clothes say "responsible, upstanding man" or "good mommy", before you say a word, the judge starts out with a good impression. If you don't care about giving the judge a good impression, ignore what I am about to say.
There is a certain way that people in authority expect people to dress who are responsible, top shelf and successful. Consider this: The judge is successful and a respected member of the community, so if someone dresses like the judge, then that person is seen as in the judge's own class, and "gets it".
So, for goodness sake, do that! You need every advantage you can get.
The judge doesn't wear a belly button ring or have a tramp stamp on her upper back or ankle. So cover it up if you have one. The judge doesn't wear eyebrow rings or jeans or sneakers in court. So, you shouldn't either. The judge doesn't have a Bon Jovi Tour T-shirt, or a "Yankees Suck" hat, so you shouldn't wear them in court either. The judge doesn't have a "Jesus Saves" tattoo on his arm, or a Metallica one on her neck, a so wear a long sleeve shirt with a collar if you do.
For men, wear a good pair of slacks, preferably dark gray or blue, of good quality cloth and neatly pressed. Thankfully, even if you don't have a lot of money, Wal-Mart, Target, Marshalls, or J.C Penney will come to your rescue. Wear a buttoned white or pale blue oxford or other dress shirt, neatly pressed. Wear a tasteful tie, preferably with a maroon background and a small pattern of dots or lines, nothing garish. If you have a suit or sport coat, so much the better. Wear polished leather shoes, not sneakers.
As to what NOT to wear, no T-shirts, especially wife beaters/muscle shirts. No jeans, no sneakers, no pull over shirts, no loud colors. Oh, and lose the metal anywhere you have it stuck into you. Ask yourself, would I wear this to an important meeting with the president of the United States.
For women, you should dress like you are going to a meeting of the Frumpy-Old-Ladies-Who-Do-Lunch-And-Gardening-Club, and who wear dowdy hats with fruit on them. In other words, dress like a judge would. Do not dress like you are going out on a date with Justin Timberlake or Jason McStudly.
A dress or business suit is best, or a long skirt and nice blouse. Nylons and nice shoes should be worn, too. Make your hair look like you are a librarian. You can use tasteful makeup and jewelry to enhance your beauty. Remember, you want to impress the judge with your responsibility and wisdom as a mother.
As to what NOT to wear: Anything informal or that makes you look like a cheap date. Avoid short skirts, any metal beyond small earrings, sneakers, tight clothes, jeans, tops that show cleavage, and anything garish. Look like little Miss Muffett, not Ke$sha or Lady Gaga.
There you have it. Dress like the judge, or his or her wife or husband, and you will find more favor in the judge's eyes.
"My Children Are My World"
Have you ever said, "My children are my world", or "My children are everything to me?"
That is not a marker of parental maturity, but a sign of a potential problem that social workers and courts may use against you. You need to change course real fast if your children are going to have a chance to grow up to be emotionally mature.
I get emails every day from desperate mothers who say, "Help me get my children back. They are my world." What that mother is saying is that she wants them back to satisfy her own emotional needs, not because of the children's own needs.
If your children are your world, you are probably sucking emotional love from them. Mature parenting is when you give to them and direct their upbringing by example, love, instruction, and emotional communication. If you are taking emotional energy from your children instead of giving it to them, you are like a vampire, and it's evil.
As children grow, they need to become more independent, which means they must develop their own strength emotionally, mentally and spiritually. If a parent finds her meaning in the child's love, then that breaking away cannot take place, and the child feels manipulated.
Some mothers are very quick to attach to others, and just as quick to feel betrayed. They tend to have intense relationships, but not lasting ones. This same pattern splashes over to their relationships with their children. The children of such mothers become druggies, hang with the wrong crowd, and waste their potential, because they have never been taught by example how to have normal attachments to other people.
If you want to make yourself feel better, and don't mind really screwing up your children for your own selfish reasons, then say "My children are my world." If you actually love your children, then try to teach them to be good, strong, independent human beings.
That is not a marker of parental maturity, but a sign of a potential problem that social workers and courts may use against you. You need to change course real fast if your children are going to have a chance to grow up to be emotionally mature.
I get emails every day from desperate mothers who say, "Help me get my children back. They are my world." What that mother is saying is that she wants them back to satisfy her own emotional needs, not because of the children's own needs.
If your children are your world, you are probably sucking emotional love from them. Mature parenting is when you give to them and direct their upbringing by example, love, instruction, and emotional communication. If you are taking emotional energy from your children instead of giving it to them, you are like a vampire, and it's evil.
As children grow, they need to become more independent, which means they must develop their own strength emotionally, mentally and spiritually. If a parent finds her meaning in the child's love, then that breaking away cannot take place, and the child feels manipulated.
Some mothers are very quick to attach to others, and just as quick to feel betrayed. They tend to have intense relationships, but not lasting ones. This same pattern splashes over to their relationships with their children. The children of such mothers become druggies, hang with the wrong crowd, and waste their potential, because they have never been taught by example how to have normal attachments to other people.
If you want to make yourself feel better, and don't mind really screwing up your children for your own selfish reasons, then say "My children are my world." If you actually love your children, then try to teach them to be good, strong, independent human beings.